Category Archives: Friday Afternoon Thoughts

Dear Entertainment Weekly, did you read my mind?…or, perhaps, my blog???

Late Friday night, just after finishing my post on The Karate Kid, I picked up the half-read Entertainment Weekly that had arrived that very day, and what should I find?  The very next article was their own review of The Karate Kid, which states:

Yes, they should have called it The Kung Fu Kid–but you don’t mess with brand titles like this one.

I swear I didn’t read the article first, we are just in agreement.  How cool!  (Except I still think Hollywood should grow a pair and trust that a good movie can do well on its own, even if it’s not a remake of another 80s movie, tv show, or toy.)

THEN, oh then, dear readers, I turned the page and what to my wondering eyes should appear?  This title…

“10 Things I Hate About Katherine Heigl’s Character in Killers“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa Schwarzbaum, are you out there?  Have you seen this blog?  Are you reading these words right now?  Are you there, Ms. Schwarzbaum, it’s me, Margaret???*

I can’t help being kind of flattered/flabbergasted, even though I know that I have no copyright whatsoever on the phrase or the idea and it’s unlikely that she knows I exist.  But what if she does!?  And we are certainly of the same mind on this movie and character, though I refuse to even see it.  To read her amazing (and scathing, yowza!) review, go here! (The ten things are written out further in article fashion, though my favorite line is the end: “But don’t tell me I’m making too much out of nothing, because the steady drip-drip-drip of nothings like this are killing us all.”  Wow.)  Here I was just going to write 10 Things (okay, 2 Things) that I hate about the damn poster! 

My Official Stance on Killers (the official poster)**

The only things I hate more than the stereotypical female “ew, guns are icky” pose (#1) are Katherine Heigl’s crazy eyes (#2)!  [see poster below]  There’s some serious disconnect going on between what she’s doing with her hands (icky gun symbolism) and the fact that she’s just weirdly smiling, not to mention a disconnect between the upper and lower halves of her face.  That smile sure isn’t reaching her eyes.  And, based on what I saw in the preview, that’s kind of how she looks/”acts” for the rest of the movie.  Yay for awesome female characters in film, presented through complex and nuanced performances!

It seems I’m kind of on point this week.  SWEET!

*My name is not at all Margaret.  I just really wanted to write that.

**This thing has been all over NYC on buses and telephone booth billboards and I have had Creepyeyes Mcgee staring at me far too much lately.  So yeah, I’ve thought about it.

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Filed under Awesome Randomness, Friday Afternoon Thoughts, Movies

Friday Afternoon Thoughts – Subtitle: An Afterlife Rock Opera

From this week’s “Bullseye” in Entertainment Weekly:

“The movie Ghost is being turned into a stage musical.  Lyricists grapple for words that rhyme with pottery.”

I had already heard about this, though I think I had blocked it out.  As a playwright, this piece of news brings up obvious burning anger over the things that they (the man?) are choosing to make into musicals these days.  There really are no new ideas and all these remakes are a pretty sad state of affairs.  Not to mention, with all of the struggling writers out there, pushing the envelope of what it is possible to do, of what theatre and film and fiction and art fundamentally are (and I’m not talking about myself here, I’m talking about friends and contemporaries and amazing artists I know and don’t know and discover on a daily basis), THIS IS WHAT THEY CHOOSE TO SPEND MONEY TO FUND???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Are you shitting me?

But, on another note, I am also able to find this bit of news rather amusing for a few reasons:

1. Can you imagine how they are going to do the scary animated black hell guardians or whatever they are that come to take away the bad guy at the end?  I’m seeing some pretty awesome interpretive dance here…

2. Speaking of dance, I suppose when you have a movie that starred Patrick Swayze the dance number connection is easier to see.

3. Someone gets to play Whoopi!  And think of the songs!  Think of the “How to Scam Rich People as a Fake Psychic” hoe down!

4. How are they going to do the Whoopi channeling Patrick straight to Demi part – not necessarily that hard, but will definitely be interesting…three way kiss, anyone?

5.  I am easily amused–

  • lottery
  • slaughtery (as an adjective)
  • pot of tea
  • off of me
  • bottany
  • bought an E (could work with a sudden excursion to Wheel of Fortune.  Ooh, or Patrick’s watching the show at home and Demi comes up singing – Demi: I made you some nice pottery. Patrick (yelling at the tv): Dumbass!  He should have bought an E!  And no, I don’t know the characters’ names.)
  • boss of me
  • mockery 🙂
  • Gotta pee!

And I do.  Fin.

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Filed under Friday Afternoon Thoughts, Movies, Theatre

Friday Afternoon Thoughts – A Picture is Worth a Full Judgement

I receive Entertainment Weekly, and it arrives on Fridays.  Thus, here we are on Friday afternoon with some food for thought.

Have you seen The Comeback, the Lisa Kudrow show on HBO that lasted for one season?  You know, the fake reality show following around a has-been former tv star as she gets back into the limelight on a new show?  It was given to me for free, hence, yes, I have seen it.  It’s both enjoyable and kinda painful.  There’s some really smart stuff and some really really awful stuff.  It’s The Office‘s awkward humor done by someone else who’s not quite as good at it.  (also, it has the girl who’s becoming much more famous as I write this because she’s in Watchmen)

Anyhoo, I bring it up because it is now my opinion that Room and Bored, the absolutely horrific show-within-a-show sitcom that is the vehicle for Valerie Cherish’s (Lisa Kudrow’s) comeback, is coming to the real world, to a TV near you and soon!  It’s such a terrible terrible show – horrible stereotypes, way too much sex, a couple funny jokes, but the stupidest premise you’ve ever heard of – and it works for The Comeback because they’re making fun of how terrible it is and skewering the state of the sitcom.  Even the writer characters within the show know that it’s terrible, but they’re doing it anyway.

On the back cover of this week’s EW is a picture for some new sitcom call Roommates that’s starting soon and, based entirely on the picture alone, I hate it.  One girl looks like Sandra Bullock, but isn’t, and is holding a strange old-timey metal bucket for some reason (you know you have one of those in your NY apartment, right?), there’s the geek with the umbrella and stupid shoes, and the “hot guy” who’s wearing bad flannel pants and is either unemployed or works on wall street based on his holding a newspaper.  What is with the other girl’s face?  What is she supposed to be conveying by holding bubbles and looking at the camera like a frightened and slightly turned on deer? Also, she looks like both Tia and Tamara.  Isn’t there a girl who doesn’t look like someone else who’s already famous that they could have gotten?  And there’s the guy actually in the bathtub.  I’m sure they’re all lovely people, but they look like tools.  What exactly are you trying to tell me with this stupid marketing choice?  Maybe it’s just the yellow background, or the silly mugging they’re all doing to the camera, but I think it might actually be a real life Room and Bored (with perhaps a little less sex;  it is ABC Family, after all).

I know I’m being judgemental based on no other knowledge whatsoever, but this is more fun and hey, a picture is worth a thousand whatevers.  And this one is telling me to be sad about what producers are willing to spend money on and the type of “new ideas” out there.  Boo.  Boo, I say.

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Filed under Friday Afternoon Thoughts, TV