Dear Entertainment Weekly, did you read my mind?…or, perhaps, my blog???

Late Friday night, just after finishing my post on The Karate Kid, I picked up the half-read Entertainment Weekly that had arrived that very day, and what should I find?  The very next article was their own review of The Karate Kid, which states:

Yes, they should have called it The Kung Fu Kid–but you don’t mess with brand titles like this one.

I swear I didn’t read the article first, we are just in agreement.  How cool!  (Except I still think Hollywood should grow a pair and trust that a good movie can do well on its own, even if it’s not a remake of another 80s movie, tv show, or toy.)

THEN, oh then, dear readers, I turned the page and what to my wondering eyes should appear?  This title…

“10 Things I Hate About Katherine Heigl’s Character in Killers“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa Schwarzbaum, are you out there?  Have you seen this blog?  Are you reading these words right now?  Are you there, Ms. Schwarzbaum, it’s me, Margaret???*

I can’t help being kind of flattered/flabbergasted, even though I know that I have no copyright whatsoever on the phrase or the idea and it’s unlikely that she knows I exist.  But what if she does!?  And we are certainly of the same mind on this movie and character, though I refuse to even see it.  To read her amazing (and scathing, yowza!) review, go here! (The ten things are written out further in article fashion, though my favorite line is the end: “But don’t tell me I’m making too much out of nothing, because the steady drip-drip-drip of nothings like this are killing us all.”  Wow.)  Here I was just going to write 10 Things (okay, 2 Things) that I hate about the damn poster! 

My Official Stance on Killers (the official poster)**

The only things I hate more than the stereotypical female “ew, guns are icky” pose (#1) are Katherine Heigl’s crazy eyes (#2)!  [see poster below]  There’s some serious disconnect going on between what she’s doing with her hands (icky gun symbolism) and the fact that she’s just weirdly smiling, not to mention a disconnect between the upper and lower halves of her face.  That smile sure isn’t reaching her eyes.  And, based on what I saw in the preview, that’s kind of how she looks/”acts” for the rest of the movie.  Yay for awesome female characters in film, presented through complex and nuanced performances!

It seems I’m kind of on point this week.  SWEET!

*My name is not at all Margaret.  I just really wanted to write that.

**This thing has been all over NYC on buses and telephone booth billboards and I have had Creepyeyes Mcgee staring at me far too much lately.  So yeah, I’ve thought about it.



Filed under Awesome Randomness, Friday Afternoon Thoughts, Movies

4 responses to “Dear Entertainment Weekly, did you read my mind?…or, perhaps, my blog???

  1. I’ll betcha Ms Schwarzbaum totally knows, and it’s her subtle way of asking to be your best friend!

    Also a 3rd thing to hate about the Killers poster is how photoshopped Heigl’s body is to remove all semblance of hips. Unless of course her thighs really are as thin as her ankles?

    • cassiopeia137

      Thanks, Alex! I totally agree. Lisa and I are BFF’s now. She was just too shy to come right out and ask me. 🙂

      And I also totally agree about the hips. Hadn’t really looked at that, and now it’s hard to stop. The image I found may be a bit wonky on sizing, but STILL.

      Also, love Film Forager! I feel like we have some similar tastes…we should discuss…

      • Thanks for the compliment! Based on the trailers you listed you listed in your next post I’d say our tastes are indeed similar! Though I’ll warn you a bit that I just saw Solitary Man, and while the cast/performances are excellent, the movie itself is so-so. It doesn’t really do anything for the “older white guy coming to terms with his age” genre. Just fyi!

        Also I’ve been salivating (not literally) for Tucker and Dale for months now, with no idea when/if it’ll be released. My boyfriend saw it at SXSW and said it was excellent. Jerk.

  2. I read this on my phone when you wrote it and couldn’t manage to comment and am only now getting around to it… This furthers my issue with being compared to Katherine Heigl. I’m not sure what I will do if she insists on making increasingly terrible movies. Apparently, she peaked playing a pregnant Allyson. Who knew?

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